I want to know my parents. How do I go about doing this? Of course, I know I’d mainly get who they are conditioned to be, but how would I get beyond the representative?
I do believe that they believe that they love me. But love is not unconditional in their world….although they say it is so of course we’d have to start with redefining what many and Webster’s have long agreed upon for definitions.
I can almost guarantee they will say they want what is best for me. But what is best for me? I can almost guarantee they will say what is best for me is what God says is best for me. And so, we’re back at definitions.
What if we could skip all that bullshit and cut to: We just meet, right here right now, without an agenda.
My parents are overwhelmed and also I imagine underwhelmed. Underwhelmed because nothing that they predicted for the future (now) is actually really happening and overwhelmed because nothing they predicted for the future (now) is actually happening.
The grim reality is that I probably will not know my parents in this lifetime. I won’t know their hopes and dreams (outside their bought-into belief system).
What do they think about that they would never dare to whisper out loud? What will they not even say to one another lest the other know their faith could possibly waiver? Do they sometimes wish they never went down a path that would tell them they must turn their back on a child who chooses a different path?
Most importantly: is there time in this lifetime for real answers to these questions, or must I wait for the next?
